"TheRealBicycleBuck" (therealbicyclebuck)
12/27/2016 at 08:25 • Filed to: None
2
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"TheRealBicycleBuck" (therealbicyclebuck)
12/27/2016 at 08:25 • Filed to: None | 2
| 18 |
My in-laws were astounded when I took the time and effort to repair our refrigerator the last time they were here. My mother in law is known for using brute force when things don’t quite fit, so when she overstuffed the freezer, she slammed the door to get it closed. This bent the housing for the fan, causing it to hit the side, creating an awful racket. I had to take everything apart to make the repair.
Six months later, they decided to give us all new appliances for Christmas. Here’s the problem. Since they didn’t measure anything, I have no idea whether any of it will fit. To make matters worse, the stove is gas. While we do have gas in the house, there isn’t a line in the kitchen. Now I have to call a plumber to get a new gas line run which means I need to clear out the attic space where the line is located. This is NOT what I had planned for my vacation!
This is how we ended up with a car I didn’t want and my wife doesn’t like. They pressured her into taking on a car payment by going car shopping, having the salesman drive it to our house, then “helping” with a down payment (which we already had in the bank).
The new appliances arrive Monday, so I have to take more unplanned vacation so someone is here while they install everything. I also have to clear up a space to store the old appliances until we donate them or sell them.
It’s hard to look a gift horse in the mouth, but when it tries to bite you when you turn around, you have to wonder if it’s worth it.
random001
> TheRealBicycleBuck
12/27/2016 at 08:32 |
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Excellent launch angle, though!
BJ
> TheRealBicycleBuck
12/27/2016 at 08:35 |
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That’s a tough situation.
I would thank them for the generous gifts and then ask them to consult you the next time so that you can be sure that the gift is the right thing at the right time. Mention the unplanned time off so they see the impact of their behaviour. You probably can’t afford to renovate your kitchen to fit a free fridge that’s the wrong size...
And then next time, say “no”. Letting others make financial decisions for you is dangerous business.
It’s not easy, but I’ve been in similar situations myself and honesty worked for me.
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TheRealBicycleBuck
> BJ
12/27/2016 at 08:48 |
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I’ve tried that angle. It’s the in-laws, so their decisions usually don’t include me. It’s usually what they think is best for their daughter and grandkids. We’ve put our foot down on some things, but that often causes even more problems.
There’s a reason we moved 12 hours away!
My short term plan is to clear out some garage space for storage so that whatever doesn’t fit has a place to go until I can make the appropriate updates. The passive-aggressive part of me hopes at least one thing doesn’t fit....
Quadradeuce
> TheRealBicycleBuck
12/27/2016 at 08:50 |
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My brother in law’s parents gave them cash for the down payment on an inground pool. They were pretty much obligated to pay the rest so that the relationship doesn’t get stained. Top tip:. If you’re going to give someone a big gift, give them the whole gift, not just the down payment.
I personally don’t see an issue declining a gift if it comes with a financial obligation like a car payment. Most reasonable people understand...Although I know reasonable people are scarce.
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TheRealBicycleBuck
> Quadradeuce
12/27/2016 at 08:52 |
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They thought they were doing the right thing. We were in the market, we just needed more time for my wife to drive the other options and make a more informed decision.
TysMagic
> TheRealBicycleBuck
12/27/2016 at 09:28 |
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If my family(in law or blood) is willing to do something like that they’re more the we will pay for the thing...but you’re going to have to go pick it out or give the EXACT model number of the thing you are looking at. They won’t sway from that model at all. UNLESS they don’t like the brand or the color or something, then they will refuse until a comprise is reached. It’s rather odd. Regardless, thankful for the gift.
I would not be so thankful if that gift included a monthly payment - the car situation would have bugged the hell out of me
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BJ
> TheRealBicycleBuck
12/27/2016 at 09:49 |
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That sucks that they don’t include you as equal in the family decisions. I guess it’s up to your wife, then. But your story of the new car is frightening. If it happens again, send the salesman packing in no uncertain terms!
If you want to play the game, call the in-laws and ask for the name od the gasfitter they’ve hired so you can take an appointment. Make sure the gift is given 100%! Ha!
Whatever you do: Good luck, and enjoy the new appliances.
S65
> TheRealBicycleBuck
12/27/2016 at 09:59 |
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Well shit
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TheRealBicycleBuck
> BJ
12/27/2016 at 10:22 |
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I suppose I could send them the plumber’s bill. I have a friend who is a custom cabinet-maker. Perhaps I should check into his rates, too!
Thanks for the thoughts.
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TheRealBicycleBuck
> TysMagic
12/27/2016 at 10:28 |
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I wish it were that way. We could really use the money for other things, but they think appliances are more important, so it’s appliances we get.
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TheRealBicycleBuck
> S65
12/27/2016 at 10:28 |
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I know, right?
ArmadaExpress drives a turbo outback
> TheRealBicycleBuck
12/27/2016 at 10:43 |
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I’m sorry you’re in this situation. I know you’re not looking for pity, but I can’t tell you how much my blood would be boiling. Considering your situation, I’m really happy that there is no one around me that would even consider trying to “help” in any of those ways.
My wife wouldn’t allow anyone in her family to put that sort of obligation on us, and neither would I. (I could see how that could come across as a judgement, and I certainly do not mean it that way.) I see how they’re trying to help, but putting that sort of obligation on you is kind of rude. It almost seems like a controlling power-move to me. I hope the appliances work out though, and that it’s not too large a convenience.
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TysMagic
> TheRealBicycleBuck
12/27/2016 at 10:44 |
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at least you can get a little cash from the used ones though? That’s something
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TheRealBicycleBuck
> TysMagic
12/27/2016 at 11:25 |
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Perhaps, but I’d feel bad selling 10-yr old appliances.
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TysMagic
> TheRealBicycleBuck
12/27/2016 at 11:28 |
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craigslist don’t care
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TysMagic
> TheRealBicycleBuck
12/27/2016 at 11:29 |
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i posted a cracked toilet in the free section thinking I’d probably have to take it to the dump, but maybe someone would save me the trip...someone took it - HAPPILY took it !
Tazio, Count Fouroff
> TheRealBicycleBuck
12/27/2016 at 11:30 |
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imo these people (outlaws) are totally disrespecting you and your wife behind a front of ““helping””
It seems you’ve been bending over backward — just speculating here — to do what seems right, show them consideration and respect (true?). Usually people who bogart others only respond to a little bogart themselves, tho, and if you feel that’s what’s called for, here’s hoping you won’t hesitate!!
Chasaboo
> TheRealBicycleBuck
12/27/2016 at 15:32 |
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The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
And man, you took quite a knock there off the back of that truck. I hope your health insurance is all paid up!